Things to do

We'd like to tell you that Portland is every bit as chock-a-block with excitement and cultural significance as your favorite major city. And we won't say that isn't so (especially if Portland is your favorite major city), but at the end of the day, Portland is a bit of a small city or a large town. Which doesn't make it dull — if you're bored, as they say, perhaps it is you who are boring — it just means you may have to find your entertainment in ways other than the usual museum and nightclub circuit, or whatever it is that folks from bigger cities go on about Portland lacking. Suffice it to say that we can't remember the last time we were bored, perhaps owing to our partaking in some of the activities below.

In town

Washington Park

Portland's no slacker when it comes to parks, and this park is among the parkiest of Portland's parks. Covering 130 acres up in the hills west of downtown, Washington Park contains several distinct attractions in addition to the usual statues, fountains, and stretches of grass.

One of the more popular features is the International Rose Test Garden, a testing ground for 8,000 rose bushes. All horticultural significance aside, it's rather nice to just walk around, argue about which roses are the best, look for strange rose names, and watch all the other people walking around and taking photos. There are also some nice views of downtown Portland. All for free. Julia's dad had this to say about his pleasant experience at the rose gardens: "I did not inhale any bees while stopping to smell the roses." By the way, don't confuse the International Rose Test Garden (a.k.a. the "rose gardens") with the Rose Garden, the arena where the Trailblazers play, as you may find yourself in the wrong part of town, saying things like, "That's not a rosebush — that's Damon Stoudamire!"

For a completely different take on the word "garden", the Japanese Garden offers five different authentic Japanese-style gardens. A more calming — and, some would argue, beautiful — experience than the rose gardens, it's a good place to go to contemplate the difference between Eastern and Western thoughts on beauty and form, or just to wonder how they got those rocks to look like that without leaving any footprints. $6.75 for adults, open until 7pm.

Other options in or adjacent to Washington Park include Hoyt Arboretum, a collection of trees that is one of many large (185 acres) natural spaces in the area; the World Forestry Center and its Discovery Museum; the Oregon Zoo; and the Portland Children's Museum (which, just so we're clear, is for children, not a place that exhibits them).

The easiest way to walk to Washington Park is to go west on SW Salmon until it turns into SW Park. Power up the hill and you're at the entrance to the park, which has a nice view. From there, walk into the park until you come to a sign that points the way to the rose gardens and the Japanese Garden. For other Washington Park attractions, you may want to take the MAX (blue or red lines) to the Washington Park/Oregon Zoo stop — check the Web site for the place you want to visit. If nothing else, the Washington Park MAX stop is pretty cool — not only is it the only underground MAX stop, it's the second deepest transit station in the world.

Pittock Mansion

North of Washington Park is Pittock Mansion, a beautiful turn-of-last-century mansion that offers a variety of tour options. $6 for adults, open from 11am–4pm. Another good option is just to go up and enjoy the nice view of downtown, as well as the manicured lawn and gardens — that's free, of course.

Forest Park

If Washington Park isn't big enough for you and you're looking for something more natural, then you may enjoy Forest Park, over 5,000 acres of wilderness at Portland's northwest edge. Extending north from Washington Park and running along (and overlooking) the Willamette's west bank, this park has over 70 miles of trails and is a convenient place for jogging, hiking, or biking in a natural setting without having to leave the city. The Friends of Forest Park site has more information.

Waterfront loop

Perfect for a jog, stroll, or just watching people (most of whom are jogging or strolling) is Waterfront Park, a stretch of green running along the Willamette's west bank from south of the Hawthorne Bridge up to the Steel Bridge. It has some nice views of the city, as well as some memorials and a fountain that kids love to run through when it's hot.

The east-side complement to Waterfront Park is the Eastbank Esplanade, which also stretches from the Steel Bridge to the Hawthorne Bridge and thus, with those bridges, forms a nice pedestrian loop a bit over 3 miles long. It has less green than its west-side counterpart, but still makes for an interesting walk, what with the historical markers and the quarter-mile part that floats on the river.

Portland Chinese Garden

Just west of the Steel Bridge is the Portland Classical Chinese Garden, an authentic Ming-Dynasty-style garden. Taking up a city block in Portland's Old Town, it's a nice break from the surrounding bustle and also offers a teahouse. $7 for adults, open 9am–6pm.

Mt. Tabor

Impress your friends and tell them you scaled a volcano — just don't mention that it's extinct! Mt. Tabor (really more of a hill) lies on Portland's east side and most of it is covered with a nice city park. The views of the city from the top are good. There are also some reservoirs on the western side, but as the signs will ceaselessly remind you, don't throw anything in them — they're our drinking water! Fans of Melton-Stadler trivia will be vaguely interested to know that Todd proposed to Julia here, as soon as some guy stopped practicing tai chi and moved on.

Other parky areas

If you just can't get enough of parks, Portland has more than enough to offer, but of note in the downtown area are the Park Blocks (broken into the South Park Blocks, which run from SW Market north to SW Salmon, and the North Park Blocks, which run from Burnside north to NW Glisan), a block-wide stretch of trees and green between 8th and Park that offers some interesting things to look at. For those wishing to escape the ginormity of Washington and Forest Parks, there is Mill Ends Park, at SW Taylor and Naito Parkway, which Guiness lists as the world's smallest park, all 452 square inches of it. Good for a very quick jog.

Farmer's market

Saturday morning, we'll be busy getting all pretty for you, but you're lucky — you can visit the Portland Farmer's Market, at the South Park Blocks between Montgomery and Harrison. Julia once composed a song of beetroot here — will you be so moved? You might not have room in your luggage for all the beautiful food you'll want to buy, but you can just nibble or buy one of the non-perishable items (Todd recommends the habañero pepper jelly, but knows you won't take him up on that). There are also several restaurant stands there and usually some form of musical entertainment. In our opinion, it's worth it just to see and learn all about the many lovable heirloom tomatoes that will be in season. Mmm ...

Saturday Market

If you can't get enough of markets on Saturday and it's crafts and tasty vittles you're craving, join your kindred spirits at Portland Saturday Market, which offers lots of handmade items. Don't be fooled by the ridiculous abundance of tie-dye everything and other such 60s-era flotsam — there really is some interesting stuff there. Perhaps the best reason to go, however, is the selection of food carts, including our favorite, Taste of Poland. Stop in and say dzień dobry and have a tasty kiełbasa or some pierogi. Saturday Market is also open on Sunday, just to confuse you.

Wunderland arcade

What's that? You love the video games? Then set some time aside for Wunderland, specifically the Avalon location near SE 34th and Belmont. Walk past the admittedly eerie clowns outside and into a world ... of nickel-based arcade games! $2.50 gets you admission to the arcade where you pay 80% less than at other, non-Wunderland places. They have all the recent, "active" games, such as Dance Dance Revolution, Dance Maniax, Panic Park, and games that attempt to teach you to play the guitar or drums — all imported from Japan in a very-likely-legally-questionable fashion! They also have pinball, skee-ball, air hockey, and plenty of racing games. A favorite of the Melton children!

Ground Kontrol

Huh? You think all good video games were invented before 1988, in an era when no good video game geek would dream of getting any exercise in the arcade? All right, curmudgeonly one, then it's Ground Kontrol for you. Recently moved to NW 5th and Couch, this "retrocade" features all the games you used to think were cool that kids today think are lame. Do you think you can beat Todd at Galaga? You are quite possibly wrong. Now serving beer after 7pm. Free to get in, 25¢ for most games except some of their impressive pinball collection.

Powell's Books

Book-lovers would do well to make a pilgrimage to Powell's Books at NW 10th and Burnside. Sure, you might not think of a bookstore as a place to be a tourist, but have you seen the size of this place? It's huge! Taking up a full city block and several floors, it's apparently the largest independent bookstore in the world. Or something along those lines. The point is: big. Not only do they offer a nice walking map of Portland, they also have a map of the store. They also have a coffee shop with some snacks for those overwhelmed by all the books.

Shopping

If you like capitalism, Portland has several businesses that will exchange currency (or guarantees thereof) for goods and/or services. The area near Pioneer Square is rife with such merchants, containing many outposts of national corporations, as well as the Pioneer Place mall, which is not so much a public promenade as a collection of stores. Parking lots abound in this area, but you may also find on-street parking.

Another popular shopping district lies along NW 23rd Ave. As one writing a guide to Portland, I am required to mention that some people refer to this area as "trendy-third", but the only people who ever say that are people who write guides to Portland. If you ask anyone how to "get to trendy-third," they will rightly laugh at you. Anyhow, this street has lots of stores, from locally-owned boutiques to national chains, as well as plenty of places to dine, nibble, or sip. Parking is often difficult in this area, and if at all possible, you're better off taking the Streetcar (drops you off at NW 23rd and Marshall), or the #15 bus (which runs through downtown and all along 23rd).

Don't be fooled into thinking you can only shop on the west side of town, though — Southeast Portland also contains capitalists! Most notable on this side of the river is SE Hawthorne between 30th and 39th, which has a reputation for being "bohemian", whatever that means.

Walking around

When it comes down to it, Portland is a great place to go for a walk. It's one of Todd's favorite activities. Some of his favorite streets downtown include SW Broadway and SW 4th. No particular reason, but they just tend to be vibrant and full of interesting people and places. The Pearl District, comprising the area in Northwest Portland north of Burnside between 15th and Broadway, is also good for a mosey, if only to see if you can count all the new lofts and condominiums.

Out of town

Multnomah Falls

As a tourist, there is no point in fighting the pull of Multnomah Falls. You must go. You will go. Otherwise, people will question your tourist credentials, and assail you with, "That's like skipping the Eiffel Tower in Paris! Sure, you might think you're all that when it comes to individuality, but you denied yourself blah blah blah ..." And you don't need a tirade like that. So go.

Multnomah Falls is a two-stage waterfall with a total drop of 620 feet. There's a short, easy hike up to a stone bridge between the first, taller stage of the falls and the shorter one below. A more difficult (but ultimately rewarding) mile-long trail continues on from the bridge up to the top of the waterfall. It offers a nice view of the Columbia River Gorge, in addition to the object lesson on gravity and water. At the bottom of the falls is a lodge with a restaurant, lounge, and your tourist what-not. The quickest and easiest way to get to Multnomah Falls is to take I-84 east from Portland and just follow the signs to the falls. Take note that the exit is on the left side of the highway.

Columbia River Highway

Between you and us, however, we can't recommend the quick way to Multnomah Falls. The best way to get there is the slower, more scenic Columbia River Highway. Whereas I-84 takes you along the level of the Columbia River, the Columbia River Highway winds its way above the gorge, affording some spectacular views. Among the many places to stop and gawk is the Crown Point Vista House.

You'll also pass by many other waterfalls of different shapes and sizes, some of which are probably more interesting and definitely less touristy than Multnomah Falls. Todd and Julia's favorite is Latourell Falls, the first major falls beyond Crown Point. It's only 249 feet tall, but it falls over an interesting basalt formation (note the hexagonal "columns"), and you can even hike up behind the falls — a nice way to cool off! The trail to the falls is short, paved, and easy.

To get on the Columbia River Highway, take I-84 east from Portland out to Troutdale, take Exit 17, and follow the signs south to the Historic Columbia River Highway.

Columbia River gorge

The beauty of the gorge doesn't stop at Multnomah Falls, of course. Everytime we end up driving in the gorge, we just marvel at the steep rock walls, increasingly obscured off in the distance by layers of mist, and the wonderful cragginess of it all. So you could just go for a nice drive.

If destinations are your thing, there's always Hood River, which you can share with windsurfers and kiteboarders from the world over — it can get wonderfully windy in the gorge. The gorge is also home to thousands of great hikes, which are left as an exercise for the reader (you may consider finding a book to help you with that if it's your thing). Or see what the Oregon Tourism Commission has to say.

Mt. Hood

It's hard to ignore Mt. Hood — 11,249 feet of volcanically active mountain just sitting on Portland's eastern horizon like the proverbial pimple on school photo day. Only more magnificent. Fans of factoids may be interested to know that Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood was used for exterior shots in The Shining. It's also a pretty cool lodge from the 1930s, assuming you're not hung up on believing the hotel has evil powers.

Not surprisingly, there are lots of great hikes near the mountain that afford not only a great view of Mt. Hood but often many of the other mountains in the Cascades — north to Mt. Rainier and Mt. St. Helens in Washington, and south to Mt. Jefferson. Again, if you want to go on a hike, I'd recommend a good hike book. Or, because Todd is lazy and not as knowledgeable as he'd like to be, feel free to check out the Oregon Tourism Commission site for more helpful ideas.

Mt. St. Helens

Although shorter (only 8,364 feet tall) than Mt. Hood, St. Helens is undoubtedly more famous because it used to be roughly 1,300 feet taller before 1980. In the past year, the volcano has taken to reminding locals that it's still active, but it's not a major threat right now (see for yourself). The Johnston Ridge Observatory, a couple hours' drive from Portland, not only offers a great view into St. Helens' crater from the north, it also has good exhibits on the volcano, including a film. See the Johnston Ridge Observatory site for driving directions.

A different, less-touristed take on St. Helens can be found on the volcano's south side, accessible from Highway 503 (off of I-5, north of Portland). Here you can view the plain that is remarkably devoid of tall trees — everything was wiped out by mud flows in 1980. The flows also carved out Lava Canyon, creating a series of waterfalls for the Muddy River. There's an easy, paved hike that gives you the gist of the canyon, but adventurous types will enjoy trekking further down into the canyon to see all the waterfalls.

Also on the south side of St. Helens is the Ape Cave lava tube, one of the longest such tubes, which are created by the particular flow and cooling of lava. Prepared spelunkers (you can rent lanterns where you park) can explore a short, easy section of the cave that only requires hiking, or a longer section that requires climbing over rocks.

The coast

If options to the east don't intrigue you, why not see what heading west has to offer? And what it offers, after a short hop over the Coastal Range, is the Pacific coast. For those who, at the mention of the word "coast", see visions of bathing-suit-clad minions frolicking in the surf, a note: the Pacific is pretty cold up here, and not something you're likely to want to swim in for very long. While there are lots of sandy beaches, the coast is also beloved for its rocky cliffs and tide pools. Just so you don't get the wrong idea.

Astoria

The northernmost coastal city in Oregon is Astoria. Located at the mouth of the Columbia River, this town is small but cute, with a charming downtown area surrounded by hills. High above Astoria is the Astoria Column, an interesting sight in itself, the climbing of which affords a great view of the town and all the water around it. Goonies fans should know that the movie was filmed in Astoria. Take that, Hollywood! To get to Astoria, take I-30 north from the northern part of I-405. I-30 follows the Willamette and Columbia as they flow to the Pacific, which leads you right to Astoria.

Cannon Beach

Further south on the coast is Cannon Beach, probably the best beach close to Portland (equally close is Seaside, just to the north, which tends to be more of the ye olde boarde walke type town). Cannon Beach is famous for Haystack Rock, which not only dominates the ocean view, but is also apparently required to appear on anything related to the city. Haystack rock — not coincidentally, a large rock shaped like a haystack (or possibly a mound or lump) — is the third largest coastal monolith in the world. Frankly, that means nothing to us, but it still looks quite cool, and there are lots of great tide pools near it at low tide. To get to Cannon Beach, take Highway 26 west until you see signs for Cannon Beach.

Tillamook

Continuing south, there's Tillamook, a town mainly known for its cheese — and rightly so! You can tour the logically named Tillamook Cheese, maker of some of the finest cheddars, as well as a bevy of other dairy products. There's also the Blue Heron French Cheese Company, which is more of a brie-and-wine type place, but in an America-loving way. But the lactose intolerant need not fear — there are beaches and state parks nearby as well! South of the city is Cape Meares State Park, the site of the Cape Meares Lighthouse, one of several lighthouses on the Oregon coast. To get to Tillamook, take Highway 26 west from Portland until you see signs for Highway 6 near Banks. Take Highway 6 to Tillamook.

Newport

Further south (and, by this point, at least three hours from Portland) is the city of Newport, a charming town set on Yaquina Bay. Known for its oysters, Newport also features all kinds of seafood that you can't eat at the Oregon Coast Aquarium. There are also two cool lighthouses near the city. The nicest (but not fastest) way to get to Newport is to head south on the coast-hugging Highway 101, but at what point you choose to cut over from the much faster I-5 is up to you. Don't miss the cool bridge that takes Highway 101 over Yaquina Bay, south of Newport.

Further south on the coast

There's a lot to see on the coast south of Newport, of course, but it would make for a very long round-trip if done in one day. Still, if you have a couple of days or more to spare, consider visiting Florence, which has several nearby attractions, including the Heceta Head Lighthouse, the Sea Lion Caves, and the Oregon Dunes, a huge expanse of sand dunes (some hundreds of feet tall) that more closely resembles the Sahara than what most people think of Oregon.

Wine country

The Willamette Valley, south of Portland, is home to over two hundred wineries, and even if you're not an œnophile (ooh-la-la!), a day spent driving out in the rolling hills is still quite enjoyable. Free wine (and often free vittles) is just a bonus.

We don't know enough about wine to say that there are particular wineries you have to visit — besides, if you're a connoisseur, you probably already know of a few places out here, and if you're not, it probably won't make a difference. Fortunately, Willamette Valley Wines has a comprehensive list of places where you can make educated slurpy noises, with a map you can print out — if you're unsure of what to do, just pick an area that's dense with wineries and see which one's your favorite.

For what it's worth, coming from admitted wine neophytes, it would seem that this part of Oregon is best at growing the pinot grapes — both blanc and noir. Other varietals may be done outstandingly, but the pinots would seem to be a good place to start.

Silver Falls

For those who want to find their waterfalls in a southerly direction (or who didn't get enough from the Columbia gorge), Silver Falls State Park has The Trail of Ten Falls, which is pretty much what you'd think from the name. It's an easy trail, and there's no denying the allure of so many waterfalls on one trail. Oregon State Parks also has a nice trail map you can print out.

Mount Angel

Mount Angel is a cute town an hour south of Portland that is mostly known for its Oktoberfest — an irrelevant fact for those visiting it around our wedding, although said irrelevancy means you'll probably hear less of "The Chicken Dance", and isn't that nice. But even when polka isn't wafting through the air, Mount Angel could still pass for a Bavarian village. Maybe that's why we like it.

The most interesting thing in Mount Angel is actually in the even smaller town next door, St. Benedict: the Mount Angel Abbey and Seminary. Fortunately, the walk from the middle of Mt. Angel to the seminary is really short. You could drive there in five minutes or so, but then you'd miss the scenery and the (Catholic, natch) stations of the cross (in German) along the way. Once at the seminary, walk around and enjoy the hilltop view. Architecture fans will want to see the Mount Angel Library, designed by renowned Finnish architect Alvar Aalto.

But between you and us, the most interesting thing at the abbey is in the museums (you may have to ask a passing monk where they are, but be prepared for him to sigh when he gives you directions). There you can find not only several fine examples of taxidermy (both normal and bizarre — more than one calf here has twice as many legs as it should!), but what is reputed to be the world's largest hairball, weighing in at 2.5 pounds! Wow! Naturally, there are lots of religious artifacts in the museum as well.

People looking for a good Bavarian meal to round out their Bavarian curiosity-gawking can get good food and beer at Mt. Angel Brewing Company. The best way to get to Mount Angel is to take 99E south from Portland (where it starts as SE MLK north of Hawthorne Blvd.), and then follow signs to Mount Angel, which will direct you onto Highway 214 in Woodburn.